Salams people,

How r u guys feeling? I felt really awful today as I did a detrimental mistake yesterday... I am in no peace right now. I feel so guilty yet it’s really hard to say sorry. You know sometimes you are too ego that you hurt others without thinking and you thought it was only a joke?

Yeah I cant get over it still and I cant believe how sometimes I could be so mean and offensive that I hurt people and you know that the mistake you make is detrimental? There is no turning back now. It has always been with guys. I have been repeating the same mistake over and over again and not learning from it. Sometimes I show no mercy towards guys which is very wrong thing to do. I need to learn how to respect them and be kind to them. Not insult and subjugate them. Astaghfirullah!! God!! Please Forgive me! Give me the opportunity to ask forgiveness to whomever I’m wronged to before I leave this World! Amin.

From high school, I used to tease guys alot.. I mean ALOT.. especially the quiet ones. I don’t know why but I really enjoyed it. Im quite childish at times and I did it unconsciously. This is what happens when all of your friends you hang out with in the community are underage.

But thank God. Now Ive got some older age friends although we are acting immaturely at times. To them I have learnt to express my feelings, thoughts, opinions and ideas (parallelism). It is not easy for me to actually express myself in any form because I am quite reserved at times. I am trying to exercise my ability to express through speech and writing although I do mumble sometimes LOL. But the thing is that I can’t talk on the phone for even 5mins and tell my whole life story. I have to talk face to face which means that I do talk to sisters, not brothers =D. I just realised that whatever happens in the world makes perfect sense. You just have to think a little deeply to make sense out of it.

Pause and Ponder.. InshaAllah you’ll find the way out =D